Several years ago I met a male friend out for cocktails in Chicago. Well, let's not call him a friend. Let's just say he was someone I knew, but not very well. He was one of those over the top people-watching kind who had to point out the physical imperfections in strangers more often than I was comfortable with. I've known plenty of people like this in my lifetime, but never anyone who said these words:

"Ugh, look at her elbows!"

These words accompanied a stank face. It was like she gave him the creeps or something.

I said something along the lines of, "What? Are you kidding me? You're (meaning men in general) looking at elbows now?"

He laughed, and I laughed uncomfortably, but I was tremendously disturbed by this judgment of her. There was absolutely nothing wrong with this woman from a physical standpoint that alarmed me. In fact, she was attractive. I didn't see anything peculiar about her elbows that should startle anyone. I thought to myself, if this guy sees my feet, I can give him something to be startled about!

I can make jokes about my feet openly now because I'm not quite as vain as I used to be about them or any other part of my body for that matter. It took an ex-boyfriend to tell me that feet weren't something men really cared about. Then I told him he clearly hasn't seen the effects that the movie Boomerang has had on his comrades. Yet, I still had two foot surgeries because I hated my feet, and I was also determined not to let these feet prevent me from being chosen (by the wrong person I might add). And, to make matters worse, the surgeries were worthless. My feet are still and always will be flawed.

It's laughable to me when I think about it today because out of all the men I've ever cared about and who've cared about me, it was a non-issue. At some point, I suddenly realized I'd never want someone who put that much value on feet anyway. If my feet are more important than my mind, body, spirit, and a decent-looking face, then that isn't the man for me.

Anyway, back to that day in the bar. Although this world of superficiality isn't new to me, the ugly elbows comment really made me feel some type of way. To me, this man was incredibly sexy, had a fantastic sense of style. But he also had an abundance of parking spaces between his teeth. So although I found him attractive, others could have easily considered him not so good-looking. In fact, some would probably argue that the way he dressed is what really made him look good. So, to hear him talking about what he considered to be hideous elbows was a little too much for me. But, generally speaking, I think women tend to be more forgiving when it comes to physical flaws than men anyway, so maybe I shouldn't be that surprised.

I say to both men and women, embrace your physical flaws and wear them like badges of honor. There are so many more things to be concerned about than an overly, non-sensible fascination with self-preservation, and a weird fixation on beauty perfection that doesn't exist in any of us. Now, if you're in a line of work where beauty pays the bills and physical imperfections will cost you your livelihood, then do what you have to do. However, if you're an average individual trying to live up to those standards...

Dip your ugly toes in the sand; smile widely with your crooked teeth; Walk around shirtless with your big belly; Let your ugly elbows see daylight.

#superficial #selfesteem #men #women #imperfections