During the holidays, I tend to watch my share of cheesy movies on the Hallmark Channel. This past Christmas was no different. I probably watched at least ten of these movies. Although they aren't Emmy-worthy movies by most standards, they are quite satisfying, heartwarming, and simply joyful to watch. (I think I actually cried while watching a couple of them.) Plus, it's good to take a break from some of these other television shows that are getting more violent and more sexual, leaving nothing to the imagination. In fact, every year I threaten to leave television, specifically cable, altogether because it's such a time waster, but I don't know what I'd do without HGTV. Plus, I also look forward to these Christmas movies every year.

I can't remember the name of the Christmas movie, but there was a scene in which the lead female character was talking briefly to the lead male character outside where the female character was volunteering at an animal shelter. Now, these two weren't dating at the time, but the topic of marriage came up and having cold feet before walking down the isle. The female character, with an enormous amount of conviction, said something like, "I don't believe in cold feet. When you really love someone, you can't wait to spend the rest of your life with them." That may not be the exact quote, but you get the gist of it. She was basically suggesting that cold feet is code for something being wrong.

I must say, those words really resonated with me. I've never been married, but I've always felt strangely about the cold feet term. I've always questioned why people still get married when they have cold feet because it doesn't seem like the right emotion to have. After all, isn't cold feet essentially your instincts telling you something doesn't feel right? It's that feeling that makes you think, even if only fleetingly, that you're about to knowingly make some type of mistake in your life.

However, on the flip side, it seems like a few nerves are normal, maybe even warranted, before you make a life-changing decision like marriage. It's probably a matter of recognizing it as just a few nerves, or listening to your inner being if there are serious doubts that you're not dealing with. I think people generally know the difference, but just don't want to disappoint other people, or their thirst for marriage has become more important than anything else.

When you're confident in who you've selected as a spouse and love them profoundly, then maybe the feelings you should actually experience are those of uncontrollable excitement ... from the engagement until the wedding day.

Of course, that doesn't mean there won't be plenty of battles in between those days.

#coldfeet #marriage #wedding