So, I was taking a nap and found myself in quite a peculiar situation. For whatever reason, I was traipsing around downtown Chicago in stilettos (ordinarily a major fail). Then I suddenly realized that I needed to catch the #6 bus, which was of course coming quicker than I thought, and I had to run in these stilettos. Swiftly. I somehow managed to accomplish this with extraordinary ease, and I caught the bus. Nope, no wait. This bus morphed into the L train once I got to the doors, and I did a sort of double dutch jump in effect in order to get on the L before the doors smashed me. Whew, right? No, no, no.

I sit down and now the L train has morphed into a Chicago Yellow Cab. Apparently it was a shared cab, because there was a guy sitting next to me and a guy sitting in the passenger seat. The one sitting next to me was unaffected by my presence. In fact, it was like I wasn't even there. He never even made eye contact. However, the other guy who looked like Jimmy Kimmel's sidekick, yes Guillermo. (I love Guillermo, so I apologize for what's about to happen.) This Guillermo-looking dude decides I was something else to look at, and he crawls his ass into the back, somehow situating himself onto the cab's floor. He was proudly looking up my dress and said something like, "You are so hot and I just have to..." Before I knew it, the Guillermo look-a-like was kissing my legs!!! OH, GAWWWD!!!

Strangely enough, I was eerily calm and let him continue with his assault. Then my calm ass took off the stiletto from her right foot and proceeded to damn near beat Guillermo to death. The cab driver and the other passenger weren't concerned with anything happening between us. I was still hammering into his head when I woke up.

#dreams #dreaming #naps #sleep